我如果今天死了？

另一失眠的夜… (叹气)

太多的烦恼… (再叹气)

突然地想：

" 我今天如果死了？"

" 我完成了什么？"

" 人们将如何想我？"

" 我是一个好母亲吗？" (我经常认为这想，不真正及任何其他有关)

-。- "

几小时前…
我妹想向我或我的妈妈借用汽车，因为她把的汽车给借给她的室友。她的室友刚开始了这新的工作需要汽车 …
我告诉了妹，我也许需要用车(真相是我在家及二个孩子，汽车让我感到安全) 。随后，她再问我的妈妈。 我的妈妈告诉她，她需要为她义工使用她的汽车。 然后，我的妈妈来问我，如果我使用我的汽车。 我的妈妈补充说， " 你午前都不起床，早晨不会需要它"
对这个情况的，主要不关于我什么时候起床。 而是为什么我妹需要借用汽车。 如果她认为她的朋友重要比她自己，那是她的选择。但是我不会，我重复，我不会支持那个想法。
我宁可保留我的汽车在车库也让不会借它。 即使我的妈妈对我生气。 因为我妈她没有胆量对我珍贵的超级星妹说“不”。 如果那是实际情形，则她可以选择了让我的妹使用她的汽车而不去她的义工。

最终，一切都是人的选择…

what if I die today?

Another sleepless night... (Sigh)

Must have too much on mind... (Sigh again)

Sudden thoughts:

“What if I die today?"

"What have I accomplished?"

“What will people think of me?"

“Have I been a good mother?" (I think of this quiet often, not really has anything to do with the rest)

 -.-"

What happen a few hours ago still haunted me...

My sister wanted to borrow a car from either me or my mom because she lent her car out to her roommate for weeks now. He needs a car to work; he just started this new job...

I told my sister I might need to use my car. (The truth is I am at home with two young kids, I feel more secure with a car around)

She called my mom again later. My mom told her she needed to use her car for her volunteer work. Then my mom turned around and asked me, if I am going to use my car. My mom added, "You get up late in the morning, you won’t need it in the morning then."

The main point to this situation is not about what time I get up. It is about why my sister needs to borrow a car when she has one.

If she thinks her friend is more important than herself, it is her choice, but I will not, I repeat, I will not support that idea.

I would rather keep my car in the garage then letting her use it. Even if my mom is going to get mad at me because she does not have the guts to say NO to my precious super star sister. If that is the case, then she can chose letting my sister use her car and not go to her volunteer work.

Eventually, everything comes down to choices...