June 14th, 2010 @ 1:22 a.m.

Today, after seven days of unable to contact each other, I get to talk to hubby online. We talked for 30 whole minutes. However, sadness was even greater after the conversation. Apparently, keeping myself busy was my way to cope with my feeling of missing him. After talking to him, my tears would not stop running.
For the past months, I stopped myself for thinking about my future without him or not able to contact him. Yet, when the truth sets in, it feels terrible. Now, I deeply sympathize with my clients who chose denial, ignoring, or keeping self busy as coping skills, because when pain is too great to process, those techniques were good ways of delaying pain.